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Lesson 3.3 of 4

Recognizing Manipulation & Abuse

What does manipulation look like when you're the one inside it?

Lesson slides

8 slides Download PDF (1.5 MB)

  1. Slide 1: RECOGNIZING MANIPULATION & ABUSE
  2. Slide 2: MYTH BUSTING MYTH: "Abuse means physical violence. If no one's hitting you, it's not abuse." FACT: Emotional abuse, controlling behavior, and psychological manipulation are form…
  3. Slide 3: THE CYCLE OF ABUSE EXPLAINED THE CYCLE OF ABUSE (LENORE WALKER, 1979): 1.Tension building: small conflicts, walking on eggshells 2.Incident: the abusive behavior occurs 3.Reconc…
  4. Slide 4: TYPES OF ABUSE Emotional/Psychological: Coercive control: Using fear, Insults, humiliation, threats, or intimidation to gaslighting, making you feel control behavior crazy, cons…
  5. Slide 5: GASLIGHTING: A CLOSER LOOK The effect: You stop trusting yourself. You start relying on them to Gaslighting: Making someone doubt their own tell you what's real. perception, mem…
  6. Slide 6: WARNING Warning signs you're in an unhealthy dynamic: You feel anxious or afraid before seeing them SIGNS You change your behavior to avoid setting them off You've lost touch wi…
  7. Slide 7: HOW TO HELP A FRIEND If you think a friend is in an unhealthy relationship: Don't issue ultimatums — "it's them or me" usually backfires Don't badmouth the partner excessively —…
  8. Slide 8: GETTING HELP If you're in an unsafe situation: You can call or text the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 Text START to 88788 Chat at thehotline.org (discreet: …
Read these slides as text
  1. Slide 1. RECOGNIZING MANIPULATION & ABUSE
  2. Slide 2. MYTH BUSTING MYTH: "Abuse means physical violence. If no one's hitting you, it's not abuse." FACT: Emotional abuse, controlling behavior, and psychological manipulation are forms of abuse. They often cause deeper and longer- lasting harm than physical violence.
  3. Slide 3. THE CYCLE OF ABUSE EXPLAINED THE CYCLE OF ABUSE (LENORE WALKER, 1979): 1.Tension building: small conflicts, walking on eggshells 2.Incident: the abusive behavior occurs 3.Reconciliation: apologies, promises, affection ("honeymoon phase") 4.Calm: things seem normal; the cycle restarts The reconciliation phase is why people stay, and the apologies feel real in the moment. The person you fell for seems to return, yet without change, the cycle repeats and often escalates.
  4. Slide 4. TYPES OF ABUSE Emotional/Psychological: Coercive control: Using fear, Insults, humiliation, threats, or intimidation to gaslighting, making you feel control behavior crazy, constant criticism Sexual: Pressuring, coercing, or Controlling behavior: forcing sexual activity; ignoring Monitoring location, isolating stated limits from friends/family, controlling finances or Physical: Hitting, pushing, decisions restraining, throwing objects
  5. Slide 5. GASLIGHTING: A CLOSER LOOK The effect: You stop trusting yourself. You start relying on them to Gaslighting: Making someone doubt their own tell you what's real. perception, memory, or sanity. This is the goal. It sounds like: "That never happened." "You're being way too sensitive." "You're imagining things." "Everyone agrees you're overreacting." "I never said that."
  6. Slide 6. WARNING Warning signs you're in an unhealthy dynamic: You feel anxious or afraid before seeing them SIGNS You change your behavior to avoid setting them off You've lost touch with friends or family since being with them You feel like you can't do anything right They tell you how you feel ("you're not actually upset") Their needs always come first; your needs are inconvenient You feel relieved when they're not around
  7. Slide 7. HOW TO HELP A FRIEND If you think a friend is in an unhealthy relationship: Don't issue ultimatums — "it's them or me" usually backfires Don't badmouth the partner excessively — it can push them to defend the relationship Stay connected — isolation is the abuser's tool; being there is yours Say specific things: "I've noticed you seem anxious lately. I'm here." When they're ready to talk, listen without judgment Verify Know the resources and share them when the moment is right People leave when they're ready. Your job is to still be there when that moment comes. Be Skeptical
  8. Slide 8. GETTING HELP If you're in an unsafe situation: You can call or text the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 Text START to 88788 Chat at thehotline.org (discreet: it won't show in most browsing histories if you use incognito) Safety planning: Identify a safe place you can go Keep important documents accessible Tell one trusted person what's happening Have a plan for if things escalate You deserve safety. Full stop.

These slides were made by the TeenWell team for classroom use. Unlike the linked resources below, they are our own material.

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